#work adhd meds WORK
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I am finishing this animatic this weekend if it fucking kills me im nearly done
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Reblogs appreciated to increase sample size!
#I don’t know what to tag this#I’m making this because I have felt all of these in the week since I started testing adhd meds to find one that works for me#anyway have at it#polls
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i love it when characters are codependent. i love it when losing someone feels like losing a limb. i love it when two people "complete" each other so wholly and terribly that one can barely function without the other. i love it when the fear of losing the only person who understands them is so all-consuming they'll destroy anything to stay together, including themselves.
#gray.txt#im really normal about moirails#i need to start writing again LOL#ive done 3 entire fics in the last decade but also im on adhd meds so maybe thatll help#still need 2 overcome my debilitating perfectionism tho. it's a work in progress
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I have a disproportionately loud mess of a head for no discernible reason* so it’s kind of a miracle that I spent the last month and some change willing myself to wield watercolor again. Witness the struggle! A long overdue color sketch for a (super patient) client.
Just watercolor with a boop of gouache.
*they are a mush of small but immense problems??? Executive dysfunction being maximized by meds the main culprit…
#watercolors#work in progress#equine#commissioned work#color study#traditional media#traditional art#you wouldn’t believe how much I want to hyperfocus on this piece for a week state#but the burnout and year long hiatus have shaken my confidence to its core#and I was never a confident person to begin with#it’s a horrible feeling and I have had to borrow J’s will to conquer it in any way#I celebrate even the smallest victory these days otherwise I’d burst#can you believe my adhd diagnosis was inconclusive?#no I’m fan but I am getting tired of relying on my brain to punch itself#i need new meds holy shit#there are not enough apologies to make up for how I feel about making everyone wait
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Snapped back to reality after 10 hours in a cold sweat. Mal Du Pays Banette
#i dont know where this came from??#i was just doodling isat pokemon au and mal du pays banette grabbed me by the wrist and now this is here#i have so many urgent work emails#i havent taken my adhd meds in three days because i forgot but surely thats unrelated#in stars and time#isat#isat au#pokemon#pokemon au#isat siffrin#isat mal du pays#mega banette#isat spoilers#art tag
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I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest
#I live in a very very full and busy house hold#and sometimes it makes it extremely difficult to work#both on art stuff and packaging#but also writing especially#i have horrible executive dysfunction but on good days ill still try and get thwarted by multiple inturruptions and loud sounds#and on bad days ill just completely shut down from it all#adhd meds and headphones cannot fix Other People In My Space lmao#sara shush#personal#complaining#Unfortunately if i ask to be left alone or for quieter volume i will get neither of those even if i lock my door#I legit have a sign on my door that lets people know when im live streaming and have asked not even volume control just to be left alone#and there will still be knocking on my door for questions like 'can you go get something from the store'#i need. people to understand that if i am busy esp if i am doing packages and stickers and stuff that i am WORKING#please treat it like im at a 9-5 office building somewhere act like i dont exist#you dont just walk into someones place of work and start venting/asking them of things while theyre at their job#'but you're at home' yes and im still working and i have communicated this several times#i did not mean to vent but GOD
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#insta stuff idk how much more i will do LOLS#i always open up sketch requests then get burnt out instantly#but also i’m just off my adhd meds for the summer so#anyway a single mom who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops /lyr#my art#percy jackson#annabeth chase#luke castellan#thalia grace
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one of those mornings
#BUT I FINALLY HAVE MY NORMAL MEDS AGAIN AFTER …. 2 MONTHS????#picked them up TODAY#maybe i can actually.. work again… consistently… and pick out socks#comic#adhd#comics#executive dysfunction#can you tell i’ve been reading allie brosh’s stuff again
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i had a vision
#i got too lazy to finish rendering so enjoy this rough sketch + terrible colouring#i took my adhd meds fully intending to get a shit ton of work done. and yet here i am again. hyperfocusing on gomens. rip.#he'd show up to heaven all pathetic and try to seduce azi with this horrendous outfit#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#good omens 2#aziraphale#aziracrow#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#good omens shitpost#my art#good omens fanart#shitpost
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
#I wanna REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!!!#its helpful for me to keep in mind#not failing. learning#learning. learning makes failures into something worthwhile#grimacing as I repeat this to myself#text post#delete later#idk saying it cause it made me be like heh. nice#so idk might make someone else be like hm... nice#so LAMGOMSAGKLSAJGALKGJASLKGMSALKGJ#there is not much thought behind the things I post there's just not really much thought in general#honestly that is not true#I overthing everything. on account of the anxiety#but it's all good#speaking of the doc gave me an anti anxiety med on top of the adhd thing#so that's cool#seems to be working though..#she told me I could up the dose and I might do that in like a week if it feels like hrmm#I asked for all the instructions about starting stopping upping lowering or changing the time I take things#cause yknow. those things matter and I like to experiment to figure out whats best for me#this has nothing to do with the post#also they messed up my order again#i only got 180 books#bro theres 120 more#where are they#give me my books!!! please!!!!!!!1#I'll wait til tomorrow#its possible they just didnt fit on the truck. thats completely reasonable
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adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes
#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently???#like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought#that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made#easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway#so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in#but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse#even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders#to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting#worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING#THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD#i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing#i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact#its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt#yapping#adhd
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heartwarming: local adhd girlfailure has finally gotten close enough to finals week due dates that her brain has actually turned on
#how does it get harder and harder to get work done as finals get closer but then suddenly its super easy to lock in like 2 days before#ALSO I HAVE LIKE ONE CONCERTA PILL LEFT IM DOING THIS OFF MEDS SOMEHOW#buzzing#adhd#adhd struggles#adhd memes#finals#college#finals week
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So
, What went wrong ?
#nightmaretheater#caligosto loboto#psychonauts#sorry for making the most upsetting painful fanart known to man. Its my job#Some of this is.Personal.#some personal feelinfs… ya get me?#you even ‘this is just a doodle :)’ then spend several days on it#yeah………….. I need my adhd meds#Ughhhhh..^Ughhh collapses#Thank youuu……wheoevr is reading.send me tour willpower i need it ive got actual work to do in a few hours#Bbbbwbhehehagghh… ignore some of the weird anatomy thz#also shoutouts to all those teeth studies i did only for them to be so distorted you can barely tell what it is
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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compulsion in progress
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#gwen bouchard#tmagp error#[error]#tmagp 21#magpod#y’all i feel like#people who insist error is john#are kinda sleeping on the opportunity to make error a sexy fucked up monster lady#this is one of the things I was thinking while working on this#i popped my adhd meds in order to be more productive#but I forgot they make me hyper focus real bad#and then I obsessively did art for like 5 hrs#mostly of gwen#I was like really hellbent on getting her compelled expression right#and so far i’m really happy with this
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It came to me once in a dream
#New adhd meds work mirracles#Holly Molly Dolly#my art#slenderverse#sv#mh jam#marble hornets fanart#mh tim wright#jay merrick#tim wright#jam garfield au#jam mh#tim mh#mh jay#mh jay merrick#jay marble hornets#garfield#Garfield our saviour#mh#Jam fanart
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